Remembering To Forget
by Kiatana
Summary: This is going to have spoilers if you haven't read Deadlocked and Dead Ever After. Sookie's wish was not to save Sam. But don't worry he's not dead. The playing field is going to be more open. Please read and review! Rating M to be safe.


((I just found the Sookie books and have finished reading them all. There are some things I didn't like. There were some unexplained jumps in the story but I understand that you can't write about everything. There will be some spoilers for Deadlocked and Dead Ever After. In this story Sookie did not use the cluviel dor to save Sam; Sam was hurt but not fatal. Also Quinn is not with that were tiger or expecting a baby I don't own Sookie or any of the Vampire Mystery characters If I get something from the book wrong please don't jump down my throat okay?))

**Sookie**

When I first saw Eric Northman I was already nervous. I was being brought in to meet the boss of the guy I kind of already liked. It was already a weird situation to be in. Right away I could tell that he was arrogant. I didn't find out later that he had been a Viking once. But I knew he had been something that gave no quarter. You didn't get to be a vampire boss by being nice. When a vampire asked a human to do something you didn't really get to say no and live. I had just wanted to get out in one piece. So I helped Eric figure out who was stealing money from him. It was an eventful night that ended with a bargain, a dead vampire, and me being pulled one step deeper into the vampire world.

The second sign that Eric liked to be in control was when I saw him in Dallas. After sending Bill and myself to Texas to do a job for Stan and his people. When I think back to those times, when I would have been happy just to see a vampire I want to laugh. Laughing is better than crying I guess. I also learned that Eric could be a little playful after he appeared in disguise. He said he just wanted to make sure everything was going well. Though honestly I think he just wanted to be involved. It was Eric that taught me that vampires are not just people who happened to be dead. You didn't survive so long without learning to be a survivalist or calculating. I thought I had been going to save Eric by sucking out that bullet. Later I learned Eric just wanted me to inject some of his blood so we'd have a bond. Boy was I steamed. I wasn't too pleased with my boyfriend Bill either.

I always wondered why the memory free Eric had been running along the road to my house. Even after all this time I still have no answers. Eric said the curse made him follow his heart's desrire98….but who knows if that's true. That time we had together was one of my happiest times since the vampires had come into my life. This new Eric was so different from the one I knew. I couldn't help but fall for him. Even though he had offered to stay with me it wouldn't have been fair to not do everything I could to get his memories back. In the end everything went back to normal. Well almost everything. I had to make myself not think about those times. I couldn't forget of course. I wasn't about to tell Eric everything that had happened. I had to in the end anyways to help a friend. There was a rhythm to my madness. Eric the big bad sheriff did not handle the news that he had offered to forgo his world to join me in mine very well. As I expected, though at least I wasn't alone in my knowledge anymore. After being betrayed by Bill I honestly thought I'd never want a relationship with another vampire.

Of course I hadn't expected to end up married to a vampire. Married? Well what Southern girl doesn't dream about her wedding day? Some of us see quite a few of them. But back to me. Eric Northman tricked me into a marriage for my own protection. We were already bonded but this was supposed to bring us closer together? Vampire marriage is a little strange. The marriage over. After all I severed our bond. Not that anyone knew that. But tonight everything became official.

Last night Eric had warned me that something was going to go down but it was for show. I had come into Fangtasia tonight like I was supposed to. And I had been divorced, vampire style. I knew this wasn't going to be a good visit, but perhaps it hadn't really hit home until I came into the office and saw the state king Felipe and the queen of Oklahoma Freyda among the usual mix of vampires I did know. Everything was so matter of fact. The ceremony, because there is always ceremony with vampires, the drive home is now at an end. And low and behold who is waiting for the divorcee? Bill Compton my first love and neighbor, funny how vampire men kept betraying me. Had he known what was going to go down? Probably, but was he going to be my friend or make a move?

**Bill**

I had been ordered to stay away from Fangtasia but not away from Sookie's house. Eric had to know I would come here. He would probably be here as soon as possible. I knew right away from Sookie's blank expression that once again she had been kept completely in the dark. Oh wait he gave his a cryptic warning because it was all he could manage. Part of me was glad this was over. But another part of me wished that none of this had happened so that Sookie would be spared this pain.

I both understand Eric's reasoning and did not. He was Sookie's lover and yet there were times when he seemed not to know her at all. He had everything and yet was gambling with it. I would give anything to be with Sookie again. But a southern gentleman did not prey on a lady who was down on her luck. And even though it did not beat I would forever be a southern gentleman in my heart.

She sees me waiting and doesn't seem to know how to react. I accept his warning that she can't talk about this right now. I nod showing I accept this. I want to tell her how sorry I am but I think that might be too much. Whatever Eric is planning I think it might be too much at long last. Sookie has been so strong running with us vampires. He forgets that humans can break. So many cracks in beautiful Sookie. When will she shatter? I hope she will let me be friend enough to help her put the pieces back together.

Eric is angry with how Sookie is reacting. My face is passive but I am shocked at Eric's ill thought out plan.

**Sookie**

How dare Eric be mad at him? "Of course I never took our marriage seriously! One you tricked me into it. Two you never took one second to wonder what marriage means on human standards!" I burst out. "Marriage is about compromise because you love someone enough to not be selfish. You say you love me as much as you're able and now we see where the line in the sand is drawn. You say you would want to stay with me when I grow old but be honest with yourself. You never expected to get that far. You'd keep me with you forever on the assumption that I'd have to forgive you at some point right? And it was a good plan. After all I couldn't stay mad at you forever."

I could see from the look on his face that I was hitting the nail on the head and the nail was going into the coffin of his plan to change me. Well I was going to be one step ahead of him. I reached in my purse for the loaded gun that would not save my life sitting in a drawer. Eric's eyes light up and I knew he thought I was using it to save him.

"Eric I'm done. I'm leaving you in the only way that's going to stick." Closing my eyes I put all of my will into my wish. Amelia said my will was the key. And after what Eric had done to me and expect, he wanted me to be some kind of human mistress, I had it in spades.

"_I want my heart to be wiped clean. I want to forget all my heartache." _

((What is going to happen? How much will Sookie forget and remember? It's about to be open season on Sookie's heart.))


End file.
